Scarlet
by thir13enth
Summary: The one thing he remembers is the color of her hair. Jerza.


**Angsty. Jerza is seriously one of the most tumultuous and outright painful ships to be on.**

 **SPOILER ALERT: If you aren't reading the manga, I don't suggest you read this since there's quite a bit of info that could be tucked in here.**

* * *

The last time that she had seen him was just a month ago, but the month, like many of the other months that they had been separated, felt like years.

 _Move forward, Erza,_ he had told her.

And so she had, but it was difficult when there was no one guiding her.

In the past, when he wasn't near, she could always feel his presence by her, as if he was watching her from afar and giving her support from wherever he was. However recently, she felt empty, felt nothing—when she looked up at the moon in the night, she couldn't feel him looking up at the same moon.

Perhaps he thought she was a strong independent woman, but at heart, she knew she was everything but that—what kept her going was the feeling deep inside her core that with every mission she completed, every funny moment she experienced, every time she smiled, that he was there smiling with her.

So she went looking for him—and when she saw his dark blue hair and broad shoulders, she knew she had come to the right place.

But even right now, when he was sitting right in front of her, an eternity stretched between them—there was no way that she could tell that she was actually going to reach him until she could cradle his face in both hands and press sweet kisses on his lips.

Each and every time she reached out, there was no guarantee that he was going to be there. He had been possessed, forgotten, been jailed, self-exiled—each and every time that she stretched her hand out to touch him, he would just slip away.

And even when she knew that touching him was the only thing that would convince her that he wasn't a dream, she didn't, instead sitting down on the grass next to him, keeping a safe finger's distance apart from him, maintaining the unspoken distance between them, following his gaze to the lazy creek in front of them.

"Erza," he said, softly.

She stole a glance at him. His face was down, and she couldn't see his eyes through the dark blue curtain of hair, but she was sure that he hadn't moved a muscle to see who had approached him.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Your footsteps," he replied, and she could hear a small smile stretch across his face. "They're confident and strong."

She looked down at her boots. Perhaps she did walk a bit heavy.

"I found you," she said, almost victoriously.

In the past, he had always been the one to determine when they would meet. He would never run into her; she would always run into him, as if he planned when they were going to meet from the start.

"It's easier to find the sun in the day than the shadow in the night," he said, as if answering her thoughts.

"Where are you going?"

"To atone."

She did her best to hide her frustration. He never answered the question.

He was always planning something, doing dangerous things that she didn't have a clue he was involved in. Always caught up in the middle of trouble yet still had the grace to save her when she was stuck in a rut. He was taking on all the dark guilds, putting the evil of the world on his bare shoulders, and he wasn't going to allow her to help him and be by his side—because he wanted her to walk in the path of light.

And all for what reason? He was doing this because he cared for her. What didn't he get about that? Why didn't he realize that at the base of it all—the reason for everything—was because he loved her.

"Are you on another mission?" she asked.

"Yes."

"When will I see you again?"

She could feel his hesitation.

"Soon."

"Don't try to protect me!" she suddenly yelled, grabbing the side of his face and turning it to her. "Look at me!"

Erza tried to look into his eyes, but found that his dark brown eyes weren't focused.

"Jellal…" she said, when she realized. He was never looking because he could never _see_. "What happened?"

He gave her a gentle smile, putting his hand over hers and pushing her hand away from him. He turned his face away from her, back to face the water again. "I got into a fight."

"You can't see," she said, and for a moment, she was glad that he couldn't see how pained she was.

Maybe the fact that she couldn't feel him watching over her anymore was because he couldn't watch over her anymore…

A hard knot developed in her throat. It was a selfish thing to think, but she was truly upset that he was now blind to her. He would never see that she had forgiven him for everything that he did. He would never see that she hated how she was the reason he was suffering. He would never see that he was the only one in her eyes.

He would never see that with him, she would be the best version of herself she could imagine herself to be.

"Jellal…" she repeated, and even though she knew she would be breaking their unspoken code of distance, she reached out with both arms and draw him into a long embrace.

He did exactly what she expected him to do, pulling away from her and gently pushing her back, keeping his hands on her shoulders.

She looked straight at him and tried to meet his eyes. She didn't care if he couldn't focus his eyes—she was going to see him eye to eye.

"Jellal, I—"

"Scarlet," he said suddenly, under his breath and in a voice so low she could barely hear. He had her hair in his left hand, and he caressed a few strands between his fingertips.

The almost-tears in her eyes froze. He was so close.

Hesitantly, she rose her fingertips up to touch his jaw—as hesitantly as she had when they had fallen into each other's arms on the beach.

"Scarlet is the only color I remember," he said. "Every time I see it, I know I'm in a dream."

By this time, her hands had worked their way to the back of his neck, and she pulled him toward him again, tilting her head and closing her eyes. She could feel him pulling away from her again, and with all her strength, she kept him where he was so that he couldn't slip away.

"You're beautiful, you know," he said.

When Erza opened her eyes, she realized that she was facing the creek again, and he was sitting just a fingertip's distance away from her, again.

It was like how it always was—somehow he was always going to slip away.

She looked down, hiding her deepest anguish from him.

But then he rested his hand over hers, and squeezed her hand tightly.

Surprised she looked up at him and was even more astonished to see his blind eyes staring straight into her eyes. "I have to go now, Erza," he said, returning her hand to her and standing up. "Don't come looking for me."

She stood and turned around to face his leaving figure.

"Am I going to see you again?" she asked him, before he completely vanished into the shadows of the forest.

"Yes," he reassured her.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

 **Gah. I know, right?**

 **thir13enth**


End file.
